ADHD and Divorce
Adult ADD or ADHD can be very challenging on relationships.
Often, the ADD/ADHD partner’s disorder can get in the way of the relationship.
Issues can arise such as: disorganization, procrastination, as well as impulsive decision making. All of these can lead to significant strain on a relationship.
Research has shown that the divorce rate is higher in couples who have a partner with ADD/ADHD. It can also be a cause for quiting a job, or impulsively ruining a career.
The important thing for adults with ADD or ADHD is to follow these steps:
- Get a proper diagnosis
- Look at all treatment options - medication, therapy, coaching, etc.
- Nurture good communication with your spouse/partner - so that you can avoid any impulsive decisions which can ruin your relatioship
I know that sometimes people have trouble finding a doctor who can diagnose them. One trick is to contact the nearest medical school - they may have a doctor who is knowledgeable in this area. You can also ask your family doctor.
Even without a formal diagnosis of ADD or ADHD, you can certainly develop great strategies for dealing with your ADD/ADHD traits. Coaching for ADD can accomplish this. I recommend reviewing materials at Bonnie Mincu’s site: Thrive with ADD. Bonnie has also created a self coaching program - to guide you through the steps that you need to follow to improve your functioning. You can view it here: Self Coaching for ADHD.
Finally, I will share with you a recent news story on ADHD and divorce.
Enjoy!
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Written by Dr. Kenny Handelman - The ADHD Doctor
To find get a FREE special report on ADD/ADHD Medication, visit: Medication Mastery
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March 8th, 2007 at 2:30 pm
Having lived with an ADD husband now for almost 14 years, I heartily agree that it can be challenging! The best advice is: educate yourself and then: educate others. We went through numerous marriage counselors; the last basically gave up on us! Our ADD problem was yet undiagnosed. I can’t even begin to explain what a difference there has been since I heard about Adult ADD on a radio talk show. Although he resisted (strongly!!!) diagnosis at first, my husband is now one of those with Adult ADD’s strongest advocates. He is on a medication that works well for him, but probably even more importantly, recognises his own symptoms. He can better control impulse anger, etc., or, when he does get out of hand, he apologises.
I had been becoming more and more co-dependent trying to keep him organized and on time and trying to keep me out of his way when nothing worked. Now I know this is part of him, and I have to leave his stuff, his calendar, and his life pretty much to him. This allows him to take control and also, to take responsibilty. This doesn’t mean I don’t tell him when he’s looking for his keys that I saw them on the freezer or washing machine, or front step….. but I don’t pick them up and hang them on the hook anymore and he doesn’t yell at me anymore for moving his stuff!
You and your column and books are a big part of our improvement. Thanks for all you do!
April 10th, 2007 at 1:58 am
Hi,
i would like to share an article by George Lynn . He is an author of many books and is very perseptive on what is going on inside a person’s brain.
Scroll down to an article on the challlenges of ADD on relationships , marrige etc
http://childspirit.com/onlinearts.htm
Allan