Comments on: ADHD and Violence? http://www.addadhdblog.com/adhd-and-violence/ A blog about Attention Deficit Disorder, and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Tue, 07 Feb 2012 02:12:02 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Bianca http://www.addadhdblog.com/adhd-and-violence/comment-page-1/#comment-254021 Bianca Mon, 04 Oct 2010 10:33:51 +0000 http://www.addadhdblog.com/adhd-and-violence/#comment-254021 My partner has ADHD and stopped his treatment 2 years ago, i have only just recently gotten with him and he is starting to show violent tendancies. I care about him and i want to help but i have a young son to think about and i have just gotten out of a bad relationship and am not ready to get into anouther possibly worse one. The only problem is that i am pregnant with his first child and i dont know what leaving him woud cause him to do, he flares upover stupid things like quiche variety and not getting his own way. Does someone have some adviceon how i can either get him back on medication or what would be the safest wy for me to seperate from him till he is able to control his temper. As i said i do care about him but i have a toddler and unborn baby to think about..... very confused and i have not known anyone who has had this before. Thank you for any help anyone can give me. My partner has ADHD and stopped his treatment 2 years ago, i have only just recently gotten with him and he is starting to show violent tendancies. I care about him and i want to help but i have a young son to think about and i have just gotten out of a bad relationship and am not ready to get into anouther possibly worse one. The only problem is that i am pregnant with his first child and i dont know what leaving him woud cause him to do, he flares upover stupid things like quiche variety and not getting his own way.
Does someone have some adviceon how i can either get him back on medication or what would be the safest wy for me to seperate from him till he is able to control his temper. As i said i do care about him but i have a toddler and unborn baby to think about….. very confused and i have not known anyone who has had this before.

Thank you for any help anyone can give me.

]]> By: Dr. Kenny Handelman http://www.addadhdblog.com/adhd-and-violence/comment-page-1/#comment-232642 Dr. Kenny Handelman Wed, 25 Aug 2010 23:00:19 +0000 http://www.addadhdblog.com/adhd-and-violence/#comment-232642 Rodney - thanks for sharing your story. You have done amazing things to turn yourself around! Most people start with their primary care doctor - asking about ADHD, and who they can see to get the diagnosis and treatment. If you are having any trouble with this, look for a local ADHD support group, and see if anyone there has any suggestions for you. You can also look for national organizations to give you more info and supports - like ADDA (www.add.org), or CHADD, www.chadd.org. I hope that helps! Dr. Kenny Rodney – thanks for sharing your story. You have done amazing things to turn yourself around!
Most people start with their primary care doctor – asking about ADHD, and who they can see to get the diagnosis and treatment. If you are having any trouble with this, look for a local ADHD support group, and see if anyone there has any suggestions for you.
You can also look for national organizations to give you more info and supports – like ADDA (www.add.org), or CHADD, http://www.chadd.org.
I hope that helps!
Dr. Kenny

]]> By: Rodney T. http://www.addadhdblog.com/adhd-and-violence/comment-page-1/#comment-232366 Rodney T. Wed, 25 Aug 2010 11:36:28 +0000 http://www.addadhdblog.com/adhd-and-violence/#comment-232366 I was just wanting to mention after reviewing my post that I quit school at 15 and was sent to a juvenile detention center 10 days after my 16 birthday for violating my proabtion for the domestic violence with my step father. You can't quit school at 15 and failing drug tests for marijuana didn't help my situatuion. When I was released I wised up I quess and got a job met my wife and didn't have time to get in trouble. Since then I've got my GED and have attended a community college for computer science for a few months but I lost interest in it. I can control my anger and I love my family very much. I want the best out of live. Just didn't want to leave that looking as though I'm a bad person and have no self control. I was just wanting to mention after reviewing my post that I quit school at 15 and was sent to a juvenile detention center 10 days after my 16 birthday for violating my proabtion for the domestic violence with my step father. You can’t quit school at 15 and failing drug tests for marijuana didn’t help my situatuion. When I was released I wised up I quess and got a job met my wife and didn’t have time to get in trouble. Since then I’ve got my GED and have attended a community college for computer science for a few months but I lost interest in it. I can control my anger and I love my family very much. I want the best out of live. Just didn’t want to leave that looking as though I’m a bad person and have no self control.

]]> By: Rodney T. http://www.addadhdblog.com/adhd-and-violence/comment-page-1/#comment-232359 Rodney T. Wed, 25 Aug 2010 11:18:30 +0000 http://www.addadhdblog.com/adhd-and-violence/#comment-232359 I am 18 yrs old, I have a wife and a 3 yr old little girl. I've thought that I may have ADHD for going on 2 yrs now but am only now researching it. I have trouble sleeping at night and I stay depressed for no logical reason other than I over think things to the point where they really get to me. How I talk, walk and the list goes on forever never able to satisify myself. I fidget and can't sit still literaly as in I can't get comfortable when I'm sitting always changing positions and so on. I can focus but I have to focus on focusing. I only go to sleep when I'm completely exhausted even when I've worked all day rubing by feet together tossing and turning until I fall asleep. I get excited for no reason but a certain rush of energy. When I stayed with my mother I've had domestic problems, one with my step father who is a good man but not a fatherly figure which is what i believe would have helped growing up. I've never fit in at school, getting evolved with drugs and acting out. I was very angry at the world and have hidden anger now. I'm impulsive as far as not thinking before I act or talk not just occasionally but all the time and I realize this all the time always trying to better my person its so stressfull, I'm sometimes forgetful. Long story short is that I want a long happy life just like everybody else and if I have ADHD then there is medications and therapy that can help me out. I've never went to a shrink about this its never really been this apparent to me. If I could have some reccomendations about what to do in my situation it would be greatly appreciated. I am 18 yrs old, I have a wife and a 3 yr old little girl. I’ve thought that I may have ADHD for going on 2 yrs now but am only now researching it. I have trouble sleeping at night and I stay depressed for no logical reason other than I over think things to the point where they really get to me. How I talk, walk and the list goes on forever never able to satisify myself. I fidget and can’t sit still literaly as in I can’t get comfortable when I’m sitting always changing positions and so on. I can focus but I have to focus on focusing. I only go to sleep when I’m completely exhausted even when I’ve worked all day rubing by feet together tossing and turning until I fall asleep. I get excited for no reason but a certain rush of energy. When I stayed with my mother I’ve had domestic problems, one with my step father who is a good man but not a fatherly figure which is what i believe would have helped growing up. I’ve never fit in at school, getting evolved with drugs and acting out. I was very angry at the world and have hidden anger now. I’m impulsive as far as not thinking before I act or talk not just occasionally but all the time and I realize this all the time always trying to better my person its so stressfull, I’m sometimes forgetful. Long story short is that I want a long happy life just like everybody else and if I have ADHD then there is medications and therapy that can help me out. I’ve never went to a shrink about this its never really been this apparent to me. If I could have some reccomendations about what to do in my situation it would be greatly appreciated.

]]> By: sara smith http://www.addadhdblog.com/adhd-and-violence/comment-page-1/#comment-214149 sara smith Sun, 13 Jun 2010 18:54:44 +0000 http://www.addadhdblog.com/adhd-and-violence/#comment-214149 8yr old is verbally an physically violent to every1 an any1 e as few mates as e tends to be aggresive . he as put holes in our walls/doors. he as violent/destructive. as explosive outbursts. i av been in touch with school who put me in touch with the best team. its been this way since he was 3. my eldest son(11yrs) cant take much more. nor can i pls any advise ....... http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=9786&id=1735610729&l=a64066979c 8yr old is verbally an physically violent to every1 an any1 e as few mates as e tends to be aggresive . he as put holes in our walls/doors. he as violent/destructive. as explosive outbursts. i av been in touch with school who put me in touch with the best team. its been this way since he was 3. my eldest son(11yrs) cant take much more. nor can i pls any advise ……. http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=9786&id=1735610729&l=a64066979c

]]> By: Dr. Kenny Handelman http://www.addadhdblog.com/adhd-and-violence/comment-page-1/#comment-213695 Dr. Kenny Handelman Sun, 13 Jun 2010 01:21:29 +0000 http://www.addadhdblog.com/adhd-and-violence/#comment-213695 Ben, Thank you very much for sharing your experience. I believe your comments can really help other people - particularly parents of kids/teens who don't agree with a diagnosis of ADHD or the treatment recommendations that their doctors make. I wish you well with your treatment, and I hope life gets better for you. Ben,
Thank you very much for sharing your experience. I believe your comments can really help other people – particularly parents of kids/teens who don’t agree with a diagnosis of ADHD or the treatment recommendations that their doctors make.
I wish you well with your treatment, and I hope life gets better for you.

]]> By: Ben http://www.addadhdblog.com/adhd-and-violence/comment-page-1/#comment-211638 Ben Tue, 08 Jun 2010 00:50:15 +0000 http://www.addadhdblog.com/adhd-and-violence/#comment-211638 I'm an adult with ADHD who has only recently been formally diagnosed, but I've always "known" I had it, but chose to ignore it. What a mistake that has been. Looking back on the major mistakes in my life (and I've made many, specifically acts of domestic violence) I can say that I believe I would have made fewer of those mistakes had I been treating my ADHD. In the past I'd always believed that the impact of having ADD or ADHD was summarized in the name, "Attention Deficit Disorder". Gee, sounds harmless. So a kid doodles in class and doesn't get into Harvard, no big deal. Or a professional adult at the office in a meeting has to ask that something be explained again. Big whoop. Sadly, at age 30, I'm only now realizing the widespread impact of ADHD on my life. Up to this point I always figured I was just an angry individual. That maybe my parents had brought me up in such a way and taught me to react violently to certain stimuli. While that may be true to a point, I am convinced ADHD had much to do with many of my outbursts and verbal and nonverbal attacks on others. The above is my opinion based on my lifetime of experiences, education (and lack there of), my research and discussions with my physician and psychiatrist. It's not an argument which is fully supported with concrete details. Simply an opinion and an implied recommendation that if you have a history of violence you should begin to investigate whether or not you have ADHD. I believe my life would be radically different today had I been diagnosed in my teens. I’m an adult with ADHD who has only recently been formally diagnosed, but I’ve always “known” I had it, but chose to ignore it. What a mistake that has been. Looking back on the major mistakes in my life (and I’ve made many, specifically acts of domestic violence) I can say that I believe I would have made fewer of those mistakes had I been treating my ADHD.

In the past I’d always believed that the impact of having ADD or ADHD was summarized in the name, “Attention Deficit Disorder”. Gee, sounds harmless. So a kid doodles in class and doesn’t get into Harvard, no big deal. Or a professional adult at the office in a meeting has to ask that something be explained again. Big whoop. Sadly, at age 30, I’m only now realizing the widespread impact of ADHD on my life. Up to this point I always figured I was just an angry individual. That maybe my parents had brought me up in such a way and taught me to react violently to certain stimuli. While that may be true to a point, I am convinced ADHD had much to do with many of my outbursts and verbal and nonverbal attacks on others.

The above is my opinion based on my lifetime of experiences, education (and lack there of), my research and discussions with my physician and psychiatrist. It’s not an argument which is fully supported with concrete details. Simply an opinion and an implied recommendation that if you have a history of violence you should begin to investigate whether or not you have ADHD. I believe my life would be radically different today had I been diagnosed in my teens.

]]> By: Dr. Kenny Handelman http://www.addadhdblog.com/adhd-and-violence/comment-page-1/#comment-199592 Dr. Kenny Handelman Mon, 03 May 2010 15:10:38 +0000 http://www.addadhdblog.com/adhd-and-violence/#comment-199592 Ross - thanks for clarifying. In this circumstance, you are caught between a desire to help your friend and her child with ADD, and watching out for your children's best interests (which would include the ability to be brought up in a home without the risk of being hit etc.). I would suggest that you ask for details around the assessment and treatment of the ADD, and that you request a track record of no violence for this child to live in your home, for the reasons you explained above. Generally, good treatment for ADD lowers the risks of violence. See how that goes... In the end, this looks like a difficult choice - so I suggest you get clear on the parameters you would like in place and then you have to make a hard decision. Good luck. Ross – thanks for clarifying.
In this circumstance, you are caught between a desire to help your friend and her child with ADD, and watching out for your children’s best interests (which would include the ability to be brought up in a home without the risk of being hit etc.).
I would suggest that you ask for details around the assessment and treatment of the ADD, and that you request a track record of no violence for this child to live in your home, for the reasons you explained above. Generally, good treatment for ADD lowers the risks of violence.
See how that goes… In the end, this looks like a difficult choice – so I suggest you get clear on the parameters you would like in place and then you have to make a hard decision.
Good luck.

]]> By: Ross http://www.addadhdblog.com/adhd-and-violence/comment-page-1/#comment-199174 Ross Sun, 02 May 2010 22:24:47 +0000 http://www.addadhdblog.com/adhd-and-violence/#comment-199174 Dr.Kenny, the child is not mine, i have no connection to him other then threw his mother.I have 4 kids threw my first marrage, this is my second time around and trying to find the right things with all of us to put her and here son with me and my kids. I hopr this explains it better. So i not thinking of walking away from my own child. Anything more to add now i explained it better? I just find it hard to let someone(child) to control a parent, and home. Ross Dr.Kenny, the child is not mine, i have no connection to him other then threw his mother.I have 4 kids threw my first marrage, this is my second time around and trying to find the right things with all of us to put her and here son with me and my kids.
I hopr this explains it better.
So i not thinking of walking away from my own child.
Anything more to add now i explained it better?
I just find it hard to let someone(child) to control a parent, and home.
Ross

]]> By: Dr. Kenny Handelman http://www.addadhdblog.com/adhd-and-violence/comment-page-1/#comment-199063 Dr. Kenny Handelman Sun, 02 May 2010 18:46:56 +0000 http://www.addadhdblog.com/adhd-and-violence/#comment-199063 Hi Ross, ADD can be complicated and tricky. I would suggest getting more information about his condition, treatment and which treatments can help with the aggression and anger. There may also be some psychological or social issues which need working through before he moves in with you. I wouldn't suggest walking away without some great efforts at treatment - as it seems you want to be reunited with your child. Best of luck. Dr. Kenny Hi Ross,
ADD can be complicated and tricky.
I would suggest getting more information about his condition, treatment and which treatments can help with the aggression and anger.
There may also be some psychological or social issues which need working through before he moves in with you.
I wouldn’t suggest walking away without some great efforts at treatment – as it seems you want to be reunited with your child.
Best of luck.
Dr. Kenny

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