I was diagnosed with ADD just over a year ago as a 35 woman. After just barely graduating college, I began waiting tables. I stayed ‘stuck’ for about 10 years. I spiraled through life drinking daily and using cocaine often, every couple of years I would attempt to apply for a teaching position. However, in typical ADD form, never followed through.

Eventually I gave in and put myself in rehab. This was my first visit with a psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with depression and GAD, in addition to the ‘alcoholic’ label. I attended AA and remained sober for over 3 years, I learned a lot while in AA, mainly how to forgive myself. During this time I was prescribed a few anti-depressants, finally finding that Effexor worked the best, and Trazadone for sleep. Fast forward another couple years and a move to a new city. I had to wean myself off of Effexor, WAY too expensive for me at the time. Effexor is HELL to come off BTW.

I finally got into teaching, and went back to school for my masters. Stable enough and insured, I went to a new psychiatrist, as I was struggling with keeping up in school and at work. I had begun drinking again a couple years before but no longer ‘alcoholically.’ I chose not to tell my new doctor about the alcohol/rehab issues. I told him I was diagnosed with depression and GAD, and was currently taking prozac, prescribed by my gyno. I tended to have extreme anxiety during menstrual times, about 4 anxiety attacks a year, My new dr asked me to describe my ‘depressed’ thoughts. I told him I am constantly beating myself up, for being lazy, disorganized, messy, feeling like I was never living up to my potential. He asked me to fill out a questionaire. Turned out I scored ‘highly likely’ ADD. Suddenly everything started to make more sense! He asked if I had ever used any drugs, and I said yes, admitting that I miss cocaine the most. He explained that is common for ADDers,

He then went on to explain that the prozac is probably making my ADD worse, as the prozac can give me a more laid back, ‘oh, well…whatever,’ way of thinking. This encouraged the ADD in not getting things done. He also explained that I probably have lower than normal dopamine levels, which is why I liked cocaine, and why Effexor worked well for me. He got me to go back to Effexor (now have a generic) but after 2 months, sadly the generic wasn’t much cheaper so I went back off of it, Adderall has been the ADD med that works best. Luckily, he is willing to give me 3 20mg short release per day. I never end up needing that much, and I also enjoy the flexibility of managing it on an as needed basis. He also prescribes me 2 .5 xanax to aid in the anxiety, and back to trazadone for sleep.

I have a whole new outlook on life. Just learning that ADD was my problem all along has also helped me manage the symptoms better, The anxiety is still tough at times, but I no longer really have depression. In my ‘perfect world’ Effexor would be best but I just can’t afford it. I had the least anxiety when on that. Looking back on my childhood I can see signs of anxiety, ALWAYS had problems falling asleep, but I always kept my emotions bottled up and a smile on my face. I was always in the ‘smarter’ classes but was always frustrated, and struggled. I knew I was smart, but just couldn’t study well, finish papers on time etc. I also had a lot of ‘stomach aches’ for unknown reasons. Now that I have been teaching, I feel that was all due to anxiety, just couldn’t identify that feeling at such a young age.

Another term I have discovered being a symptom of ADD is hyperfocusing. I was/am very prone to that, unfortunately the focusing was usually on stuff that was not on my ‘need to do’ list. But give me something I am interested in or enjoy doing and I would immerse myself for HOURS, conveniently procrastinating/avoiding other responsibilities.

Anyway, that’s my story. Hope it can help someone out there. It has DEFINITELY helped me to see that I am not alone, and not crazy, or a lazy slob, etc. I have always been my hardest critic, but am learning to cope and manage life more like those crazy ‘normal’ people out there in the world do, lol.

Attention all ADD sufferers:
Whether in the USA, Canada or wherever, you have right to proper treatment.
If you can’t find relief in one place, do the best you can to find better care with someone else!!! It’s probably out there.
It is a shame that there are not more doctors with the insight and depth of experience that Dr Handelman has. A big shame.
There is no reason to suffer with the combined anxiety and ADD like I did for so long. We all have the right to get good care, be it with insurance or as a cash paying customer.

Take charge of your medical life and much else will fall into place.

Thank you Dr Handelman!!!

Best wishes,
Jon

The last two years I have found myself very distracted and moody. Where my art has taken off, my ability to stay focused on detailed oriented tasks like keeping track of other peoples schedules.

Is there a medication that would address all those issues, instead of taking multiple drugs?