Two weeks ago, I was diagnosed with ADHD and started taking Adderall 10 mg bid, early am and early afternoon.

At age 60, I now feel normal for the first time in my life, except for a short time – twenty years ago – when my doctor sent me to a weight loss physician due to a sudden weight gain as a side-effect of two medications (sinequan and a medrol dose pack) that were prescribed for eczema during a time of high stress.

Since I’m so “hyper,” I asked the weight loss doctor to please not prescribe amphetamines, but she talked me into taking a short trial of low-dose phentermine – and the results were astounding. I felt relaxed and wonderful inside my skin. However, since I felt so wonderful, I did not pursue the treatment for long, because I felt so wonderful I knew I could easily get hooked on this medication!

However, the effect I received from this medication somewhat confirmed in my mind what I’d suspected, that I was either dyslexic or had OCD or ADHD, possibly even bipolar disorder. I couldn’t determine which, because I had some symptoms of each disorder.

Even though I worked as a nurse at the time (RN,C, now working in another, more creative, field), I held myself to much higher standards than I did my patients. They deserved compassion, but I had to be strong! In my heart, I felt that people who had such disorders were using these conditions as a crutch for ineffective coping skills.

There was denial on my part, because I never had an “ergo” moment about the ADHD until my doctor had one, two weeks ago, when I told him I’d had a paradoxical reaction to phentermine, twenty years previous. That moment of “weakness” on my part (giving the doctor a hint of my problem) was truly a cry of desperation. Accepting the diagnosis and feeling calm and ‘normal’ was my ergo moment.

Even after starting the Adderall, I alternated between happiness to be functioning, sleeping and feeling well – and thinking how terrible it is for a 60 year-old woman to take amphetamines!

It just so happened that an acquaintance dropped by my house last week who used to have a medical practice in our area. He is an oriental physician who specialized in behavior disorders, They perform acupuncture and are big on holistic approaches, so I discussed the diagnosis and medication with him. Not only did he agree with my taking the Adderall, he also suggested that I mention resperidone to my doctor for impulse control, because he said that ADHD people almost always have co-mingling conditions and very often need additional medications (the co-morbidity you wrote about). When I told him how much better I was and that I did not feel the need for additional medication, he said, if I didn’t take the resperidone for myself, I should at least consider taking it for my husband! lol I must say that the obsessive-compulsive part of me was a huge factor in my somewhat-effectively coping with ADHD for sixty years! Working constantly at positive thinking, was probably the best thing I did to help myself. Apparently, I inherited ADHD from my Mom, whom I’ve always known was ‘mentally ill’.

Mom used to have, on a fairly frequent basis, what I feel older people were describing when they’d say that someone had experienced a “nervous breakdown,” when she would go completely out of control, yelling, screaming, crying, ranting and raving for several days, then she’d have a few days of aloofness before getting back to her usual personality – overbearing, protective and smother-loving. We’d certainly tip-toe around her when she was in one of her hysterical states!

I was never quite as severe as Mom because my personality is a bit more laid back, but controlling my temper was very difficult, and I certainly surprised many people, over the years, when they’d try to push this eager to please, pushover-seeming woman around. They had no idea, by my demeanor, that I’d ‘fight you to the death’ if you were too pushy, obnoxious or offensive, etc.! Did I mention that I’ve been married four times?!

When my family was becoming increasingly worried about Mom getting more and more confused – with her domineering, angry and irrational personality – our making a family appointment with a psychiatrist induced Mom into one of her ‘nervous breakdowns!’ We finally took the advice/help of a lawyer friend to get Mother involuntarily admitted to a hospital psychiatric unit, when she became totally out of her mind due to a urinary infection. (Sadly, this sudden decline improved very little once her UTI cleared up.)

It took about six months for her psychiatrist to try different combinations and dosages of drugs to get the optimum results for Mom, and she is now the happiest I’ve even seen her in my sixty years! God gave us a pleasant and loving mother/wife, just as he was taking her from us.

Two years of spending every-other-month in another state caring for my Mom and Dad (who is legally blind and extremely passive – not to mention a supposedly reformed alcoholic who had started guzzling wine on the sly), plus working from my computer (my husband and I own/operate a small business) – and several other real (not perceived) problems had truly coped-out my coping mechanisms, and I was a simmering cauldron of anxiety – to the point I was sleeping very little, my heart was pounding, and I had a constant sense of dread, because I had so much to do, and everything took such a great effort on my part. At that point, I perceived my life as such a misery that I could barely endure it. (I was not suicidal, just miserable!) One day, I literally fell asleep at the wheel, due to total exhaustion. Luckily (for me and my parents who were also in the car), it was for only a split-second and happened while I was slowing down for a stop light.

Now that I’m more informed about my condition, and it has clicked in my head that I AM a strong person, because I coped with my life extremely well, considering the level of difficulty I was working from, I will take the help of an extremely competent doctor and the Adderall!

Now, this is my dilemma (you know us ADHD people always have one – lol):
How long can a sixty year-old woman take a stimulant drug, considering the fact that my body is slowing cranking down? What about the non-stimulant drugs on the market?

I must say, in the short time I’ve been on Adderall – feeling good, sleeping well and functioning without such great effort, I’ve been able to focus on eating healthy (whole foods) and plan to start back exercising (as soon as I complete the Effexor withdrawal; I’m almost completed with titrating the dosage down). Part of my effort is because I want to continue to feel good, the rest of my life!

From my reading, knowing the problems I’ve encountered and experiencing a brief happiness on Adderall, I’m thinking/hoping that completing tasks without such great effort will stop the reason for my depression. I’m actually being productive, instead of having thoughts rushing-around in my head and my body running around in circles getting little accomplished. Much of my anxiety is from knowing how much I need to do, while sitting around not accomplishing anything. Then I’d feel badly about myself and become depressed, because everything was so overwhelming to me…

I hope this is enough information to give you an idea of my history, but not so much you’re overwhelmed with details! Just reading over the letter for errors, I realize how typically ADHD it is – now that I’m out of denial and into treatment!

Sincerely,
Deb (former hyperactive maniac)

Thank you Kindly