Comments on: Do I Feel Judged? http://www.addadhdblog.com/do-i-feel-judged/ A blog about Attention Deficit Disorder, and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Tue, 07 Feb 2012 02:12:02 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: photographyVoter.com http://www.addadhdblog.com/do-i-feel-judged/comment-page-1/#comment-56651 photographyVoter.com Wed, 02 Jul 2008 23:55:38 +0000 http://www.addadhdblog.com/do-i-feel-judged/#comment-56651 <strong>Do I Feel Judged? | ADD ADHD Blog.com...</strong> I published an article on how I was in a cafe - and I was essentially kicked out. I shared this story, and how awful it felt to be judged on this blog.Then, I wrote a summary of the overall topic - called: Judgment in ADHD - including many of the comme... Do I Feel Judged? | ADD ADHD Blog.com…

I published an article on how I was in a cafe – and I was essentially kicked out. I shared this story, and how awful it felt to be judged on this blog.Then, I wrote a summary of the overall topic – called: Judgment in ADHD – including many of the comme…

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.addadhdblog.com/do-i-feel-judged/comment-page-1/#comment-56648 Anonymous Wed, 02 Jul 2008 23:30:49 +0000 http://www.addadhdblog.com/do-i-feel-judged/#comment-56648 <strong>Do I Feel Judged?...</strong> I published an article on how I was in a cafe - and I was essentially kicked out. I shared this story, and how awful it felt to be judged on this blog.Then, I wrote a summary of the overall topic - called: Judgment in ADHD - including many of the comme... Do I Feel Judged?…

I published an article on how I was in a cafe – and I was essentially kicked out. I shared this story, and how awful it felt to be judged on this blog.Then, I wrote a summary of the overall topic – called: Judgment in ADHD – including many of the comme…

]]> By: healthranker.com http://www.addadhdblog.com/do-i-feel-judged/comment-page-1/#comment-56647 healthranker.com Wed, 02 Jul 2008 23:28:51 +0000 http://www.addadhdblog.com/do-i-feel-judged/#comment-56647 <strong>Do I Feel Judged? | ADD ADHD Blog.com...</strong> I published an article on how I was in a cafe - and I was essentially kicked out. I shared this story, and how awful it felt to be judged on this blog.Then, I wrote a summary of the overall topic - called: Judgment in ADHD - including many of the comme... Do I Feel Judged? | ADD ADHD Blog.com…

I published an article on how I was in a cafe – and I was essentially kicked out. I shared this story, and how awful it felt to be judged on this blog.Then, I wrote a summary of the overall topic – called: Judgment in ADHD – including many of the comme…

]]> By: pligg.com http://www.addadhdblog.com/do-i-feel-judged/comment-page-1/#comment-56645 pligg.com Wed, 02 Jul 2008 22:33:26 +0000 http://www.addadhdblog.com/do-i-feel-judged/#comment-56645 <strong>Do I Feel Judged?...</strong> I published an article on how I was in a cafe - and I was essentially kicked out. I shared this story, and how awful it felt to be judged on this blog.Then, I wrote a summary of the overall topic - called: Judgment in ADHD - including many of the comme... Do I Feel Judged?…

I published an article on how I was in a cafe – and I was essentially kicked out. I shared this story, and how awful it felt to be judged on this blog.Then, I wrote a summary of the overall topic – called: Judgment in ADHD – including many of the comme…

]]> By: www.buzzflash.net http://www.addadhdblog.com/do-i-feel-judged/comment-page-1/#comment-56638 www.buzzflash.net Wed, 02 Jul 2008 19:29:36 +0000 http://www.addadhdblog.com/do-i-feel-judged/#comment-56638 <strong>Do I Feel Judged?...</strong> I published an article on how I was in a cafe - and I was essentially kicked out. I shared this story, and how awful it felt to be judged on this blog.Then, I wrote a summary of the overall topic - called: Judgment in ADHD - including many of the comme... Do I Feel Judged?…

I published an article on how I was in a cafe – and I was essentially kicked out. I shared this story, and how awful it felt to be judged on this blog.Then, I wrote a summary of the overall topic – called: Judgment in ADHD – including many of the comme…

]]> By: Cathy M http://www.addadhdblog.com/do-i-feel-judged/comment-page-1/#comment-45959 Cathy M Tue, 04 Mar 2008 00:57:45 +0000 http://www.addadhdblog.com/do-i-feel-judged/#comment-45959 Dr. Handleman, As the mother of a child that was the most active, energetic, impulsive, risk taker.....I believe he was the one really being judged over and over by teachers, doctors, neighbours, family and friends. Even cousins as young as five years old, knew they could blame him for their misbehaviours at family get togethers and get away with it!! !He is seventeen now and was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder a few years ago (talk about being judged as parents - doctors, police, neighbours, family and friends). I would not let the judgement of others stand in the way of helping my son through these very difficult times and pushing as hard as I could as a parent to ensure he got the help he so desperately needed. I am so proud of him for all the hard, hard work he put in and continues to put in.I am so pleased to report that he is quite stable now, is working and has a serious girlfriend. He also has a plan in place to finish his high school education that was interrupted by the bi-polar disorder. I wanted to add this comment to encourage other parents not to give up or to lose hope. Let me tell you, there were many times I thought our situation was completely hopeless. As a parent, I had to learn to listen to the experts and not to anyone else that was judging our situation. Everyone had opinions on how to handle our very complicated situation. We even had a police officer suggest a good beating (of course this did not happen). P.S. A high number of the homeless suffer from serious mental health disorders. People need to be alot more compassionate to these people. Perhaps the cafe owner should have offered you a warm meal!! Shame on him!! Dr. Handleman,

As the mother of a child that was the most active, energetic, impulsive, risk taker…..I believe he was the one really being judged over and over by teachers, doctors, neighbours, family and friends. Even cousins as young as five years old, knew they could blame him for their misbehaviours at family get togethers and get away with it!! !He is seventeen now and was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder a few years ago (talk about being judged as parents – doctors, police, neighbours, family and friends). I would not let the judgement of others stand in the way of helping my son through these very difficult times and pushing as hard as I could as a parent to ensure he got the help he so desperately needed. I am so proud of him for all the hard, hard work he put in and continues to put in.I am so pleased to report that he is quite stable now, is working and has a serious girlfriend. He also has a plan in place to finish his high school education that was interrupted by the bi-polar disorder. I wanted to add this comment to encourage other parents not to give up or to lose hope. Let me tell you, there were many times I thought our situation was completely hopeless. As a parent, I had to learn to listen to the experts and not to anyone else that was judging our situation. Everyone had opinions on how to handle our very complicated situation. We even had a police officer suggest a good beating (of course this did not happen).

P.S. A high number of the homeless suffer from serious mental health disorders. People need to be alot more compassionate to these people. Perhaps the cafe owner should have offered you a warm meal!! Shame on him!!

]]> By: Rita Seiler http://www.addadhdblog.com/do-i-feel-judged/comment-page-1/#comment-45946 Rita Seiler Mon, 03 Mar 2008 18:02:43 +0000 http://www.addadhdblog.com/do-i-feel-judged/#comment-45946 I think that all of us as human beings are guilty of making judgments or assumptions or whatever you want to call them at some time in our lives. As a teacher of students with disabilities and a parent of a son who was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) at the young age of 4 and is now 18, I have at many times felt the judgmental eyes of others on me and I'm sure have been a topic of conversation as well as to how I have handled my son. I don't even let it bother me anymore. All I can say as it applies to parents with children with any disability is that those who are looking from the outside have no idea what we go through as parents. Raising a child with ADHD takes enormous amounts of energy, patience, and perseverance. I have been through heartaches and disappointments with my son. I have advocated for him and at times did not feel his teachers understood or even believed me when I told them that this is how the ADHD affects his functioning. It doesn't end when they graduate from high school, if they make it that far. My son tried to attend a junior college and couldn't get up in the morning to get to school - he has been in trouble with the law and in financial debt. He doesn't have a job at this time either. He refuses to get any kind of counseling or help from anyone but his friends. He is now at the age where he doesn't have to take his meds if he chooses not to. No one can judge another unless they have walked in their shoes and know the whole story. If the doctor's experience helps anyone to understand what other people with a disability such as ADHD experience, then more power to him. I think that all of us as human beings are guilty of making judgments or assumptions or whatever you want to call them at some time in our lives. As a teacher of students with disabilities and a parent of a son who was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) at the young age of 4 and is now 18, I have at many times felt the judgmental eyes of others on me and I’m sure have been a topic of conversation as well as to how I have handled my son.

I don’t even let it bother me anymore. All I can say as it applies to parents with children with any disability is that those who are looking from the outside have no idea what we go through as parents. Raising a child with ADHD takes enormous amounts of energy, patience, and perseverance. I have been through heartaches and disappointments with my son. I have advocated for him and at times did not feel his teachers understood or even believed me when I told them that this is how the ADHD affects his functioning.

It doesn’t end when they graduate from high school, if they make it that far. My son tried to attend a junior college and couldn’t get up in the morning to get to school – he has been in trouble with the law and in financial debt. He doesn’t have a job at this time either. He refuses to get any kind of counseling or help from anyone but his friends. He is now at the age where he doesn’t have to take his meds if he chooses not to.

No one can judge another unless they have walked in their shoes and know the whole story.

If the doctor’s experience helps anyone to understand what other people with a disability such as ADHD experience, then more power to him.

]]> By: Sunny http://www.addadhdblog.com/do-i-feel-judged/comment-page-1/#comment-45813 Sunny Sat, 01 Mar 2008 07:12:19 +0000 http://www.addadhdblog.com/do-i-feel-judged/#comment-45813 This is fun, This is my 4 th post tonight. Im loving talking to people who appear to get it and struggle with things that Im going through and untimately speak my language and make spelling mistakes like I do :) Dr Kenny its intersting that you almost seem to feel guilty about "judgements" I wonder are they judgments or assuptions? You assume you buddy at the coffe house was just, well, what ever you thought of him. But what if this man had just gotten off the phone with the bank and they delivered the news that they are calling in their loan or something else not likely but just as probable. He simply was having a crapy day, you assume it was about you but it in fact could be about something that has nothing to do with you. I bring this up injust, simply because I have a tendency to react and not respond to people if Im already irritated about something else. People assume that it about them when its not and thats when the judgments start flying around. Im generally speaking about people I know but Ive been tied up in these types of situations with strangers. I make the assuption that the jerk that cut me off in traffic is in fact a jerk when he might actually be a nice guy and his wife is in labor, maybe not, so the question I ask is who's responsibilty is it to temper those assuptions...the answer is me. It is very cool that you have taken this topic so seriously, its not often that people have the fore sight to expore their actions in such depth. Thank-you for that, judgments tend to hurt more than they help, at least that has been my experience This is fun, This is my 4 th post tonight. Im loving talking to people who appear to get it and struggle with things that Im going through and untimately speak my language and make spelling mistakes like I do :)
Dr Kenny its intersting that you almost seem to feel guilty about “judgements” I wonder are they judgments or assuptions? You assume you buddy at the coffe house was just, well, what ever you thought of him. But what if this man had just gotten off the phone with the bank and they delivered the news that they are calling in their loan or something else not likely but just as probable. He simply was having a crapy day, you assume it was about you but it in fact could be about something that has nothing to do with you. I bring this up injust, simply because I have a tendency to react and not respond to people if Im already irritated about something else. People assume that it about them when its not and thats when the judgments start flying around. Im generally speaking about people I know but Ive been tied up in these types of situations with strangers. I make the assuption that the jerk that cut me off in traffic is in fact a jerk when he might actually be a nice guy and his wife is in labor, maybe not, so the question I ask is who’s responsibilty is it to temper those assuptions…the answer is me.
It is very cool that you have taken this topic so seriously, its not often that people have the fore sight to expore their actions in such depth.
Thank-you for that, judgments tend to hurt more than they help, at least that has been my experience

]]> By: gsdsmiles http://www.addadhdblog.com/do-i-feel-judged/comment-page-1/#comment-45696 gsdsmiles Fri, 29 Feb 2008 00:29:13 +0000 http://www.addadhdblog.com/do-i-feel-judged/#comment-45696 Dear Dr. Kenny I don't think you should feel guilty about *judging*. Our brains are encoded that way to categorize our perceptions and thoughts....without the faculty of evaluating, we would be sticking our hand in the fire over and over,.....we wouldn't be able uphold our (hopefully) dearly held values and the behaviors and thoughts that support them....etc..... We all do the same thing......we gain experiences and hopefully evolve our base of wisdom and compassion...... All learning has a learning curve..........I see no reason for guilt on your part. Your well-intended spirit used this experience both to learn and reflect as well as sharing with us the opportunity to do the same! Thank You for all that you ARE and DO! gsdsmiles Dear Dr. Kenny
I don’t think you should feel guilty about *judging*. Our brains are encoded that way to categorize our perceptions and thoughts….without the faculty of evaluating, we would be sticking our hand in the fire over and over,…..we wouldn’t be able uphold our (hopefully) dearly held values and the behaviors and thoughts that support them….etc…..
We all do the same thing……we gain experiences and hopefully evolve our base of wisdom and compassion……
All learning has a learning curve……….I see no reason for guilt on your part. Your well-intended spirit used this experience both to learn and reflect as well as sharing with us the opportunity to do the same!
Thank You for all that you ARE and DO!
gsdsmiles

]]> By: Arieh http://www.addadhdblog.com/do-i-feel-judged/comment-page-1/#comment-45693 Arieh Thu, 28 Feb 2008 23:48:00 +0000 http://www.addadhdblog.com/do-i-feel-judged/#comment-45693 The beginning of second paragraph - typo. I mistakenly wrote "I" instead of "You". As you know from psychoanalysis - it just proves that I put myself into your shoes. Arieh The beginning of second paragraph – typo. I mistakenly wrote “I” instead of “You”. As you know from psychoanalysis – it just proves that I put myself into your shoes.

Arieh

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