Ty Pennington & ADHD Experts On Call
BySeptember 19th is ADHD Awareness Day. In honor of this day, Ty Pennington (who has ADHD) will host an event called: ADHD Experts On Call.
This event is an opportunity for you to call in and speak to an ADHD Expert and ask your questions about ADHD. Ty will be doing a live webcast about his experiences living with ADHD at 12 pm Eastern time for 1 hour.
To learn more about this event, visit: ADHD Experts On Call.
Please pass this message along to others – so that more people can learn what they need to know about ADD and ADHD.
Dr. Kenny
I am not sure who I should be talking with, but I hope that you will be able to give me the information that I need.
I am the parent of an adult son that has been diagnosed with ADD. I had been told by a doctor, when he was 3 years old, that he was ADHD. I had no idea what that meant completely, but I knew that I loved my darling little boy no matter how busy he was. I heard about all the medicine and how bad it was, how to change his diet, how to deal with him on my part, but I never learned how to help him cope. He attended the Head Start Program, but again, no one told me how to help him besides medicine and all I knew about that was it was bad.
Sadly I never did give him medications, and I never did learn what to do. When I brought it up with his doctors, most of them just told me that it was more a lack of discipline than it was a condition. They did not believe that ADD/ADHD was a real problem.
My son grew up living on the edge of life. He was always in trouble. He never did bad things. He never got into alcohol or drugs. He was never in jail. He was just so busy all the time doing things that would peek his interest. He had a terrible time in school. He would get in fights at school because he had a problem keeping quiet. I tried to get help, but again they just passed him by. By the time he was in 5th grade, I just brought him home and did the home school thing.
Again, I had no idea what I was doing, but I did know that he was not getting help at school. I had to do something. I did the best that I knew. That was 20 years ago. We made it through high school with the home school type programs, but then he went to college. He did not do well. Not that he was not intelligent, heaven knows he is quite intelligent, but only with what interests him. He has a terrible time taking tests. If there is any noise in the room at all, he is zoned into the sound. He was able to pass classes with a grade of “C” and never crack his book open or take notes. I had no control over him when he started college. They could not give me information, nor would they work with me about his education. Being a young man he found that this freedom was exciting. Again, he never got into trouble with law or did any of the drug scene. He did skip school a lot. He failed to finish assignments. He dropped classes that bored him. There was not much that I could do. All I could think of was keeping him going to school and get him through somehow. I took classes in hopes that it would help him to do his work. I took classes on disabilities including ADD/ADHD.
I learned that there was help for him that I could not provide. I tried to get him to go to the office of disabilities at the college for help, but he was so worried that he would be thought of as a retard. I tried to explain it, but he was so traumatized by his college life, there was no getting him to do it. It took 6 years to get him through a 2 year AS degree in Natural Sciences. He was so sick of school that when he went to take his final math class he cried because he was scared that he was not going to pass. He had met the girl of his dreams and wanted to get married. He was ready to move on. He made it, but the chance of getting him to go to University was over. He was more of a hands on learner than a class and book learner.
He got a job doing the thing that he had loved all his life. Ever since he was a tiny boy, he was in love with animals. The most exciting for him was the elephant. I encouraged him to learn all that he could about them. That was the one thing that kept him going. He was consumed with dinosaurs, elephants, any animal that he could get his hands on. We had lizards (geckos, chameleons iguanas), snakes (amazon, python, boas, rainbow), fish (fresh, salt, tropical), dogs, cats, rats, and birds (Green Bee Bee, Parrot, Canary, Parakeet, and some I had no idea what they were). His job was at one of the amusement parks working with the elephant. He was so excited.
Then, as luck would go, his boss was not a very patient man. He spent a huge amount of time screaming at all his workers. He screamed at everyone, but it affected my son horribly. He was a nervous wreck constantly. He knew that he was going to have to make it through, and he finally agreed to get help. He went to the doctor who referred him to the psychologist where he was diagnosed with ADD/OCD. He began to take medication. He said it was like a light turning on. He managed to stay there for 2 1/2 years, and then he was able to get a job with the local zoo working with the elephants. Sad thing was that when he switched jobs, he was not able to get his medications until his insurance kicked in again.
He had to go back to the doctor and have the process all over again to get his medications. They had some trouble getting the correct amount diagnosed for him. He muddled through as best that he could. He had to go back a few times when the medications were not doing what they were supposed to, but his new boss was not a yeller so he felt more comfortable.
He and his wife were able to find a run down, bank owned house to buy. It was in terrible shape, but between he and his father they could do most all of the work. His life was beginning to take shape.
Then something started to happen. He was taking his medications, but they were not doing as much as they should have. He began to be distracted by things and do things compulsively. He had wonderful reviews from his boss, and the other workers never had a problem with him so he felt that with time and medication adjustments he would be ok. Although he had been there for less than a year, he was given the keys and was often left alone to watch the full compound. His abilities were not the problem. One day he accidentally crashed one of the carts. He was written up. He was overwhelmed over being in trouble. Things seemed to be bigger than they should have been to him. The next week, he did something not to smart as a practical joke with one of the other workers. He did it on the spur of the moment and not giving it a thought. All of the guys were laughing about the joke. No one was upset about it, they all thought it was funny. Then the word got back to the curator what had happened. Her nephew, who was brought out here to work because he was in trouble with the law over drugs in Arizona, told her about the funny joke. Well…she did not think it was funny, and had her brother, who was my sons direct boss, fire him. He was devastated. Worse thing was that he never told them that he was under a doctors care for ADD because he was afraid that they would be prejudice against him. He had this idea because he had seen many time things that had happened to his father, he is Deaf. They say that they don’t have a problem, but you always end up on the dirty end of that stick.
Now, can you see a dilemma here. I have a married son with a mortgage. He was an Elephant Zookeeper; not many of those jobs around, The only experience he has is with elephants, and he can’t seem to get another zoo job because he has not worked with other zoo animals. He was denied his unemployment because the curator made sure that the unemployment office knew all the sorted details. My daughter in law called the HR at the zoo to see what type of information they would give out about my son because he was trying to get a job at another zoo. The HR gave his dates of employment and pay scale. When my daughter in law asked if they would ever be interested in hiring him in the future they said no. Then they said, “Off the record, he was terminated. I’m not supposed to tell you that, but you should know”.
He is having a terrible time even finding a job parking cars. He has no medication because they can’t afford it. He is barely keeping it together, and interviews are getting harder and harder as he slips deeper and deeper. It is taking our family, his wife’s family, and what they can do with his wife’s small salary to make their house payments. He still has ADD/OCD, that is not an option of going away. What do we do? Where can he go to try to be able to make a future for himself again? He knows that his future with animals may be over, but we have no idea on how to get him traned for anything else and them still be able to survive. He checked on some apprentiship jobs, but there is a waiting list a mile long. He has a terrible time trying to do anything the conventional way. We have no idea where to start. He went to the “One Stop Career Centers”, but they just took the application and said that if they heard anything they would call. He sends out applications to every job that he can find, but his education and experience is not what they want. He has nothing. He has no training to do anything else. He needs the extra help to make it through and he knows that now, but we don’t know where to go. Please help him. What can he do to get a life back? He is 29 years old now, and has to start over. He has burdens now, and he has no idea on how to make it. There must be something. He is a good young man with plenty of potential, but he does not know, nor do we know how to make it happen. As I said, he has never been in trouble with anything before. He is just a good kid with a bad situation. He is a hard worker with no place to go. He is the kind that needs that second chance because he is not going to waste it.
Sincerely,
Belinda Hussey
Dear Belinda Hussey,
I was searching the sites about ADD and came to see your letter about your son. My son is of age 10 and he is having the symptoms of ADD. I am an evangelist in India. By prayer God had made a tremendous change in my son’s life. I promise that I will pray for your son.
Do you know that ADD is genetically transfered from parents to children. I myself is a person with ADD. By reading the history of your son I was going through my own past. It was just like mine. Math was a great mountain for me in my studies. I had graduated from university in Biology. Now i am successfully co-ordinating the mission works in India and Successful as a leader. preacher, teacher etc. Here all the potentials in me is helping my profession.
If you divert your son to some management areas in his job sure he will be a success. Tell him don’t be hopeless Jesus loves him and he is always with him.
Mr.P.T.Varghese
Dear Belinda Hussey: I am 56 years old and have struggled with severe ADD throughout my lifetime. I can point to my parents’ unflinching support for me as being pivotal in any success of my lifetime and applaud your dedication to your son as I well understand the stress placed upon parents by this disorder. By way of advice for your son’s current situation allow me to suggest that he find or invent products that he has a passion for and sell them. No one can fire him and even modest success in this effort will probably kindle tremendous self-respect and confidence if he can get motivated to take on the negative mindset of potential customers. I have written an unflinching account of my lifetime with ADHD entitled: Swoop for Life!…with ADD and have a website at swoopforlife.com
I wish you and your son the best but from my personal experience expecting any help from the ranks of the ‘normal’ is probably an exercise in futility.
Sincerely, Buzz Ansley